


Evil Overlords Beware

by kayley



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Young Avengers
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayley/pseuds/kayley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of 100 word drabbles based on the Evil Overlord List (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones._ **

Bobbi rolled her eyes, knowing that no one would see. Once again she was grateful that AIM had never worked out that the reason SHIELD had such a success rate when infiltrating them was because no one could ever tell that it wasn't one of their henchmen behind the helmet. The only reason AIM was still in existence was because of the number of henchmen not because anyone who was in charge actually could plan. Seeing her opportunity, Bobbi made her way to the hatch and set off the self destruct before easily melting back into the crowd rushing outside. 


	2. Chapter 2

**_My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through._ **

Hoisting himself up into the ventilation ducts, Clint smiled. He could move easily around in these and hide a number of weapons in easy reach. Now all he had to do was lie in wait to overhear the conversation that they suspected would be occurring shortly between a crime boss and one of Hydra's small rivals. While not highly worrisome, the conversation would hopefully lead them to another of Hydra's bases. And if the rival was going to start eliminating the group, then SHIELD was all for it. Clint smirked as the conversation began below. It was almost too easy.


	3. Chapter 3

**_My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon._ **

Thor looked around him, amazed that Loki had locked him up instead of killing him. He had always known that his brother had cared for him despite what he said. The fact he had locked him up had proven it. But at the same time, Thor wondered if there was something more to it when the attacking legions unlocked the cells. Maybe this was Loki's way of ensuring that Thor would be released and able to assist him without the Vanaheim's army knowing. As his cell door clang open, Thor was ready to fight whoever stood between him and Loki.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Shooting is not too good for my enemies._ **

Melinda grinned to herself as the Hydra operative tied her to the chair. Sure, he was smart enough to tie her arms behind her back but it was a loose knot at best. The head Hydra officer walked into the cell and began monologuing. It was the worst part of the job, having to feign being terrified while collecting information that might be necessary. When it got to the part where he ordered her to be shot, she sprung into action, releasing herself and knocking them out. She'd take them seriously only if they stopped monologuing and became a threat.


	5. Chapter 5

**_The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness._ **

When Coulson told them what Victor Von Doom's latest threat would be, they internally groaned.

“Is he just not taking it seriously anymore?” Tony asked. “I mean, we have people who can fly, a weather god...”

“He's just not trying,” Clint agreed.

Soon after, a large explosion rocked Latveria, as Doom's attempt at the Arc Reactor technology was destroyed by The Avengers. Rubble fell down upon the streets and citizens ran for cover. 

“The dragon was a nice touch,” Natasha offered as she flew away on it, laughing as the others rushed to keep up with her.


	6. Chapter 6

**_I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them._ **

Sure, it was stupid of Kate to come rushing along to assist an Avenger but she knew what Hawkeye was like. He often did things that were reckless and stupid and that's why she found herself in her current position.

Madame Masque was standing over Clint gloating about his stupidity. Kate on the other hand was hanging off the ledge angling herself towards the perfect shot. No one would see her, and it would buy Clint all the time he needed. 

She took a steadying breath, and eased back the bow ever so quietly. Aimed. And released the arrow. Perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

**_When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."_ **

Skye was certain she was done for when Quinn entered the room. She had known of his reputation through the Rising Tide and since joining SHIELD. Knowing she only really had her wits to keep her alive, because why hadn't she listened to Ward, she decided to keep him talking until someone could help her out.

Fluttering her eyelashes at him, she made herself look as innocent as possible while prying for details. He apparently had an oversized opinion of himself and began telling her the details. 

Three minutes later, Quinn was lying on the ground groaning while Skye escaped.


	8. Chapter 8

**_After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out._ **

'Natalie Rushman was gorgeous, not overly bright, but stunning,' Kang thought as he watched her go about her business. Signaling to a couple of his henchmen, he watched them drag her away. 'Soon, she will be mine.'

Natasha sighed to herself, thinking 'here we go again'.

She let Kang try to impress her while she worked out where the weaknesses within the building were. Along the way, she planted bugs and explosives, all while playing the simpering damsel. She was going to love blowing the place to bits when her engagement period was over. Too bad there'd be no honeymoon.


	9. Chapter 9

**_I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such._ **

Leo Fitz didn't often go out into the field, especially not espionage undercover type missions, but this time his technology knowledge was needed. He copied things from computers and planted back doors for Skye to work her magic while he made his way through the factory.

He had noticed all the weak points within the factory and was simply biding his time before he would take further action. He couldn't wait to push the big, red button which would overload the machines. He'd always wanted to push a big, red button. It almost made up for not having a monkey.


	10. Chapter 10

**_I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well._ **

Victor Von Doom groaned as soon as he realised that Iron Man had once again escaped his clutches. But the groans were suddenly replaced by horror as various important pieces of equipment within his stronghold started shutting down.

“Stop him!” he yelled to his henchmen but it was too late. Where did he go wrong? It should have been simple to interrogate him and then kill him. Instead he was now having to escape before the whole stronghold came down around him. He could hear Iron Man taunting him as he fled and explosions erupted around him. Not again. Please.


	11. Chapter 11

**_I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat._ **

America grinned evilly when she realised that they had underestimated her once again. They thought because she was a female, she wouldn’t be a problem. She was so going to love punching Killian in the face. 

He was in the middle of his video recording, that he was planning to send to the President, hidden with riddles that the Avengers would need to solve to find her, when he noticed her grin. Dread suddenly filled him, as she waved, showing her wrists were free of the cuffs that had been holding her. He realised that this would hurt, a lot.


	12. Chapter 12

**_One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation._ **

“How? How did you do that?” MODOK roared as his complicated plan fell down around his ears. The Young Avengers scoffed at him as they continued to ensure that there was nothing left around them that could hurt them.

“Seriously?” Wiccan asked. “Any five year old would have seen it wasn’t fool proof.”

“For a big brain, you sure aren’t that smart,” Speed called out as he raced through the remaining henchmen surrounding MODOK.

“Guys, stop giving him ideas and let’s finish up!” Prodigy ordered.

Suddenly finding himself surrounded by The Young Avengers, MODOK instantly surrender himself into their custody.


	13. Chapter 13

**_All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal._ **

The remnants of Hydra heard how Captain America had crashed Red Skull’s Valkyrie. While they were celebrating his demise, they were also mourning the loss of their leader. But obviously things would be so much better now that the American had died.

They just had to be smart how they took their next moves. The first mistake they made was not finding his body.

*

Alexander Pierce swore the day that Captain America was found. By the time the news he was thawed and alive came through, he was absolutely livid. Why hadn’t anyone checked if he was actually dead?


	14. Chapter 14

**_The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request._ **

Hawkeye and Widow hated when this happened. Locked up on opposite sides of the room. While it wasn't impossible to be able to escape, it did make it harder. Until Hawkeye's eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Before you kill us, could you bring her over to me for one final kiss?” The goons looked at each other and shrugged; before unlocking Widow and proceeding to bring her over.

As soon as she got far enough away from the leg shackles, she kicked out and began attacking while Hawkeye cheered her on. It was more entertaining to watch her than fighting.


	15. Chapter 15

**_I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation._ **

“This is almost insulting really,” Falcon called back to the others as he hovered in front of the bomb.

“What’s it say?” Captain America yelled as he distracted the Hydra soldiers surrounding them. Falcon drifted back into the fight.

“We could have lunch while the EOD guy is stopping it.”

When Cap turned to look at him, he shrugged.

“We’ve got 150 minutes til it explodes. Clear as day on the digital readout. Tony gets the EOD guy close, we’ve apprehended all the soldiers… might as well have lunch yeah?”

“We better not, might give the others the wrong impression.”


	16. Chapter 16

**_I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."_ **

“But before I kill you, just what did you think this would achieve?” Quinn asked Skye as he entered the room to see her madly typing away at one of his computers.

Skye launched into a rather detailed description of what she was hoping to uncover by hacking his computers at the point of origin. She went through all the different measures she’d disabled and then went on to point out everything she’d copied from the hard drives and from running various recovery programs.

“But really? It's achieved what I wanted. Hi AC!” she finished with a wave behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

**_When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice._ **

“How did this happen?” Armin Zola rhetorically asked the remaining henchmen around him as he glanced out at the destroyed buildings and masses of killed and injured soldiers.

“Well, sir, ummm… Crossbones told you not to underestimate them and to have other precautionary measures in place. You told him that he was wrong,” one brave, but foolish henchman answered.

Zola wasted no time and lifted his gun, shooting the man point blank.

“Does anyone else want to contribute anything?” he asked. Everyone shook their heads in the negative.

“Thank you. As I was saying, how did this happen?” he mused.


	18. Chapter 18

**_I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time._ **

The battle was over, and among the fallen was Apocalypse.

His remaining followers were in disbelief as they were rounded up to be processed for their crimes against humanity by the X-Men.

Their eyes lingered on the one that they felt betrayed them, the one which caused the death of Apocalypse. The one who should have taken up the mantle to lead them to glory but instead had stood in defiance against his father.

Armageddon barely looked at the body of one of the mutants he shared genetic code from, instead he smiled at his mother, Jean Grey, and left.


	19. Chapter 19

_**I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.** _

Mephisto raged in anger as Mephista admitted in failing him in breaking into the Sphere of Containment that held the soul of Baron Mordo. On top of that, his enemy, Satannish had managed to not only get the Sphere but retreat to his home world with it.

“Anyone would think you fell victim to Doctor Strange’s charms! If only I had a son! This would never have happened.”

He failed to realise during his ranting, that Mephista blushed when hearing the name of Doctor Strange. While it wasn’t exactly what happened, she couldn’t say that it was entirely false, either.


End file.
